i would’ve written in more sophisticated form, i would
for you i would’ve
done so many.
but the truth, and only the entire truth was that
you could’ve had everything i have,
since it was truly yours and yours
only to begin with
i only ever wanted the days when we were us,
but it’s a past tense sentence now.
i am exhausted and drained
from pretending since my early age
and the reason it was a past tense sentence is that i don’t want to be tired anymore.

(a letter to my mother, written on my palms since so many years ago but my fingers only had the courage to type now.)